


Meddling Little Minx

by Belsmomaus



Series: The Adventures of Hux and Ren - Kylux-Week 2016 [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Humor, Kylo can be an asshole, M/M, Masturbation, Matchmaking, POV Inanimate Object, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 11:27:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8799130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Belsmomaus/pseuds/Belsmomaus
Summary: The Finalizer decides to play matchmaker. Because someone has to, otherwise those two idiots will never realize that they’re made for each other.She hasn’t planned on it being that difficult, though…(Kylux-Week 2016 - Day 5: The Finalizer)





	

**Author's Note:**

> In good nautical tradition I used the female pronoun for the Finalizer.

**Meddling Little Minx**

_**Kylux-Week 2015** _

**Day 5: The Finalizer**

 

That’s it! Enough was enough!

She couldn’t stand this a moment longer! It’s been two years now!

Two years of insulting each other, competing with each other for the Supreme Leader’s favor, circling each other like arena-fighters trying to spot the enemies weakness to exploit it shamelessly. Or ignoring each other on purpose. And still, those two block-headed idiots just didn’t realize what was right in front of them.

They were made for each other. _Complementing_ each other.

The General, quick to anger on the outside and yet he kept his emotions in check, always in control, while underneath the surface waited an ice-cold mind, brilliant and calculating, so full of ambition.

And the Knight, who cloaked himself in quiet indifference, covering the boiling fire of warring emotions and a powerful, torn up mind underneath. A potent mixture that sometimes erupted explosively.

They were like fire and ice. Like day and night.

Like two sides of the same coin.

Yeah, definitely the same coin. Lonely and so very different from the people surrounding them. Hiding behind masks, literally and figuratively. They both fought for the same goal, both in their own ways, using their own amazing talents.

Together they could rule the galaxy if only they’d work together instead of fighting each other.

She was sure of it.

She also knew that it was the Supreme Leader’s fault. He set them against each other. She wasn’t sure if he was too blinded by his own ambition to see their combined potential or if he saw it quite clearly and secretly feared it.

She didn’t care anymore.

Yes, she was part of the First Order, one of their flagships even, and therefore subject to the Supreme Leader’s orders. But first and foremost she was obliged to her commander. And her co-commander.

Her general and her knight.

And she was sick of seeing them at each other’s throat when they could be _so much more_.

 

* * *

 

 Determination turned quickly into action.

They avoided each other whenever possible, so she had to make use of the few moments they actually were at the same place, mostly due to something their current mission required.

And since they barely acknowledged each other even during those times – unless they argued of course – she decided to… _make_ them.

It only took a second. A tiny manufactured glitch in the gravitational control of the corridor they were walking in. 1,2g instead of the usual 1g, just for a moment.

It was enough to make them stumble. To reach out at each other on instinct. But as soon as they’ve righted themselves they snatched their hands back as if burned.

Not what she’d hoped for.

So she tried again a few days later. This time two seconds. The result was even more discouraging. Hux supported himself against the wall with a frown, immediately grabbing for his comlink to check with the bridge. Meanwhile Ren, after regaining his footing very quickly, ignored the incident completely.

Well, the third time is the charm, right?

This time she lowered the gravitation for a second. And with perfect timing. At least she’d thought so. Right in the middle of a clipped conversation about stormtrooper training.

Hux was just about to turn towards Ren to say something when the gravitation changed. Caught off-guard mid-movement his momentum carried him on as he lost his footing, whereas Ren didn’t even flinch. He just stood there as if nothing had happened and watched the general fall down instead of preventing it. His distorted voice was dripping derision as he cocked his head and said, “For your sake I hope your training methods for stormtroopers are better than your ability to get a simple glitch in the artificial gravity of your ship fixed.”

The look on Hux’ face haunted her for days. Red with embarrassment and outrage. And twisted into a grimace of barely contained hatred.

She never manipulated the gravitational controls again after that.

 

* * *

 

 There were other ways she could explore. It didn’t take long to come up with another idea: the turbolift.

Hux waited outside the interrogation chamber, listening to the cries that abruptly stopped. Ren stepped out shortly afterwards and they trailed off towards the bridge, her general eager for the information Ren was able to retrieve to implement it into his further strategy to strengthen the control of the First Order on this system.

By the time they stepped inside the turbolift all essential information had already been shared and they rode in silence. That’s when she tapped into the lift-controls and stopped the cabin.

Ren’s head dipped to one side then the other as if he was eying the cabin for a reason for their stop. Hux frowned. He tapped the controls. As nothing happened he activated his comlink to contact the bridge.

“Lift R39 in sector A just stopped. I want to know why!”

“Of course, Sir! Uh, a moment, Sir,” the sounds of bustling followed, of clipped voices barking harsh orders before the lieutenant was back, stuttering. “Sir, uh, there- there seems to be nothing wrong with that lift. The- the controls state it’s in perfect working order.”

“I’m impressed, General,” Ren sneered, “the control you hold over this vessel is truly marvelous!”

Hux’ shoulders tensed even more and his face twisted into a grimace of frustration – and anger – before he forced his neutral mask of professionalism back on. He lifted his comlink again. “It isn’t. Now get someone down here!”

“I’m not spending my precious time trapped in a turbolift with you, General,” Ren stated, his metallic voice quite matter-of-fact.

Hux crossed his arms and put on his best condescending glare, complete with one eyebrow raised. “Believe me, Ren, I can think of a million things I’d rather do. That doesn’t change the facts, though.”

For a moment they stood in silence, both tense and angry and uncomfortable. Ren snapped first.

“This is ridiculous!”

Without another word he raised his hands, gloved fingers stretched, their posture strained, the hands shaking very softly and the cabin beneath their feet rumbled.

There was nothing she could do to hold it in place. No control, no subroutine to override his actions. She was powerless against him. And so she watched as the turbolift climbed to the next level and its doors opened. Ren hurried away with big steps, his robes billowing behind him. Hux stepped out, looking after him before scrutinizing the lift again with a frown. The moment a group of technicians came around the corner, he snapped at them to find the error and report back to him personally.

If she could sigh she would. She hadn’t counted on her knight using the Force. It wasn’t fair. And frustrating, because there was nothing she could do against a mythical power like that.

Trapping them together was obviously off the table as well then…

 

* * *

 

 But there had to be a way to get them in the same room together and just – you know – spend time together without one fleeing or them arguing or sneering comments. Time they might even get a glimpse of something in the other that they hadn’t seen before…

Maybe…

She changed Hux’ weekly booking of the training room and made it seem like a scheduling problem due to increased demand of the rooms. There were two training rooms on the officer’s deck. In one of them her knight was just performing his daily training routine, the other one was reserved for her general. Neither of them needed a whole room for themselves, there was enough space, though they preferred their privacy (except for the sparring sessions Hux sometimes held with Captain Phasma).

When Hux came she didn’t open the door for him. No matter what he tried, no matter the override codes he used. She watched him eagerly, sure he’d turn to the other room to get his routine done since she knew how much it vexed him that he only found time to keep in shape once a week. But to her surprise Hux didn’t seek out the other training room, he just closed his eyes in frustrated defeat and rubbed them tiredly before he turned back to his quarters, were he finished some reports before he dropped dead into his bed, completely exhausted.

Now she felt bad, both for taking his workout from him as well as troubling him when it was obvious that he needed a break.

 

* * *

 

 

She gave them a week without interference.

And she came to the conclusion that she needed to be more offensive if she wanted this to work. Of course she also had a plan at the ready.

So she waited and waited until the moment was right.

It had been a long and stressful day for the both of them. Ren had been away on a mission and came back clearly stressed and irritated only to vanish into one of the training rooms to exhaust himself. And Hux had been fighting the whole day to avoid a potentially disastrous delivery problem for one of the main components for the construction of Starkiller Base; on top of his usual duties, of course.

It was late when both of them finally found their way back to their quarters. Tired and without a doubt desperate for a shower. Ren had been exerting himself for hours and was probably soaking in sweat by now and Hux never went to bed without one. She knew he needed to feel clean to be able to sleep and it helped him relax as well.

The moment they stepped into their shower stalls – as high ranking personnel they had their own water showers in their quarters – she rerouted the water flow on their deck to make sure their showers wouldn’t work.

She’d almost felt sorry (her general looked as if he’d pop a blood vessel before he deflated and his forehead sank against the wall with a sigh) and afraid (Ren instinctively grabbed at his hips for his lightsaber and she just _knew_ that if he hadn’t been naked he’d lashed out at her like he sometimes did in his anger). In the end her plan worked this time.

Though frustrated and pissed they both dressed again, grabbed some clean clothes and headed for the public showers on the officer’s level. Ren got there first. As soon as he was sure that he was alone he locked the door with his personal code before he took off his helmet, began to disrobe and grabbed a towel.

When Hux encountered a locked door – to a public area that should never be locked – it educed barely more than a tired sigh from him. He used his override – there had to be some perks to being commander of a ship – and walked inside. The moment he stepped around the corner he spotted Ren, frozen mid-movement on his way to the shower stalls.

Ren, only clad with a standard-issue towel wrapped around his middle. No mask. No robes.

She knew he’d seen Ren without the mask already, but that’s about it. There’s quite a difference between ‘no mask’ and ‘no clothes’.

He seemed a bit flustered, if by what he saw or by the fact that Ren was already occupying the space he’d longed to use she couldn’t tell. He recovered quickly, though, put on a stoic, almost bored expression and went about undressing himself, seemingly completely uninterested by the company.

Ren was too startled to react at first, then too surprised. In the end he sighed, shrugged and placed his towel on the rack before he stepped into the wide area of the open shower. There were no separate stalls. The First Order didn’t care as much about privacy as it did about efficiency. And without partitions there was more space for more shower units.

Hux followed suit shortly after, choosing a unit that was a good distance away from Ren, but not far enough as to imply that he felt uncomfortable with the situation.

The softly humming vibrations of the sonic filled the room. Hux rolled his shoulders against the vibrations to knead the tension out of his neck whereas Ren stood totally still, his hands placed against the wall, his head downcast between his arms.

It was a surprisingly quiet moment. Without any of that prickling tension in the air that usually surrounded them whenever they were close to each other. Maybe because they were lacking their usual protection (and thereby the included status) of their clothes. Maybe because they were both exhausted.

She watched and couldn’t help but be fascinated by their differences. Well toned muscles against wiry limbs. Countless scars against seemingly unmarred skin. Dark moles against light freckles.

And it seemed she wasn’t the only one noticing. They tried to hide it – both of them – but they were looking. Sneaking glances here and there, curious eyes wandering over naked, unprotected skin.

They never talked and although they knew the other was looking as well they never commented on it. Instead they went about their business, dressed again and left.

She couldn’t believe it.

It had been a success.

Sure, it was a small one, but a success nonetheless.

 

* * *

 

 Nothing came of it.

She waited for two weeks. _Two weeks_. But apart from furtive glances when the other wasn’t looking nothing had changed.

She needed a new plan. But she had no idea what else to do. Most things that came to her mind she immediately dismissed again. All her ideas were too subtle and if she’d learned anything these last weeks than that subtlety wasn’t their thing, at least not in that regard. She’d love nothing better than to simply download her own knowledge and insight into their brains or rewrite their source code, but of course that wasn’t possible.

She started watching them even more closely now, desperate for inspiration.

What she needed was something more straight forward, something…

What was that?

Something in her surveillance piqued her interest and she watched more closely. It was a moment so private that she’d feel guilty if the situation weren’t so dire – and if there weren’t that spark of triumph. If only she could be sure. The noise had barely scratched the detection range of her sensors.

General Hux was currently in the shower. His own one this time. His left hand was splayed against the wall, his head turned back to face the warm spray of water that soaked through his hair and cascaded down his slim body. His other hand was between his legs, stroking himself with increasing fervor. His head dipped forward again, his lips parted in a silent expression of pleasure, until it hung low on his chest. His legs shivered as his movements grew more frantic, as moans started to become audible through the sound of running water. His body tensed, his breath hitched for a second and then he came.

To her utter delight.

It wasn’t the first time she’d caught him doing that in the shower – although usually she faded it down instead of focusing on it. He didn’t do it often, anyway, but he surely had never spilled his seed with the name ‘Ren’ on his lips before.

So maybe her meddling hadn’t been in vain. And then an idea struck her. So bold and daring it just had to work. If subtlety wouldn’t get her what she desired than maybe it was time to try blatant boldness.

Without further ado she saved the video file and sent it to her knight’s personal account. Subject: for your consideration.

She almost changed her mind, nearly deleted the message twice, but in the end she remained steadfast. It was bold, maybe even foolhardy, but she’d made a decision and she would stick to it.

When Ren finally opened the message he nearly choked on his tea.

She took that as a good sign.

 

 

Two days later Ren made no move whatsoever to leave after a meeting of all heads of departments until only he and the general were left. Hux was still typing down some notes on his datapad as Ren took up position close to his side, looking down with the eerie impersonality of his mask.

“I considered it.”

“Huh?” Hux gazed up at him, clearly bewildered. “What? Phasma’s revised training routine for the troopers?”

Ren ignored that. His distorted voice sounded strangely amused. “I took you for an intelligent man, General. Quite intelligent for an ordinary military man, to be honest. It seems my assumption has been wrong. You’re even stupider than the whole bunch of those idiots.”

Taken aback Hux pushed himself up in a quick and stiff movement, drawing himself up to his full height, shoulders squared. His hands were balled into fists at his side, his jaws clenched. There was an icy storm brewing behind his green eyes.

“If you disagree with the way I handle affairs on this ship then I advise you to either voice them like a civilized person or bring your complaints before the Supreme Leader, but I will _not_ put up…”

Ren interrupted Hux rudely and either without a care for it or on purpose. As if the general hadn’t spoken at all. “Playing into my hands like that. It’s such a stupid move. Not your style at all. And yet… I could blackmail you; discredit you. Seriously General, you gave me the perfect leash for your thin neck.”

Fiery red color bloomed on the general’s cheeks while the ice behind his gaze got even colder, almost hiding his utter confusion behind his outrage at being spoken to like that. “Whatever secret you might think you have uncovered, I can assure you there is nothing that could give you that much power over me.”

“Is that so…” The smirk was unmistakable, even through the vocoder. Ren retrieved a small datapad from beneath his robes and held it out for Hux to take. “It’s just a small part of it and of course it’s not the only copy I have.”

Hux snatched it with a forceful jerk of his hand. And activated it. All color left his face and his carefully maintained expression slipped. He was shocked to see himself in the shower, his manhood in his hand and Ren’s name on his lips.

Ren laughed and turned to leave the room.

“How did you get this?” Hux demanded to know, closing his eyes in defeat and frustration as he heard how unsteady his voice sounded.

Ren stopped at the door. “You should know, General. You sent it to me.”

This was a disaster.

Not at all what she had intended. And yet, what did she expect that would happen? That her knight would be so aroused by what he saw that he’d sneak up into the general’s quarters and slip to Hux into the shower with a cheesy comment like ‘time to try the real thing, General’?

She’d been so stupid.

Her general had immediately started an investigation, trying desperately to find out who’d managed to hack into the Finalizer’s security and surveillance systems. And the messaging system. In the evenings he deactivated all security measures in his quarters with his override code, preferring being vulnerable to an attack to being spied upon. He tensed up whenever Ren showed up, she couldn’t tell if he was afraid of the knight, afraid of what he might do or if he steeled himself for whatever the knight might throw his way.

No matter what, she hadn’t intended for any of this. Instead of bringing them together she’d built a wall in between the two. She’d made it so much worse. And she had to find a way to reverse the damage she’d done.

Somehow.

Ideally by starting to delete any traces of that video. She was just about to reach out into her knight’s datapad through the wireless data connection that all pads used to communicate with her systems, when she paused.

Ren was in his bed, clad for the night, but he was sitting, leaning back against the headboard. The datapad in one hand, the other beneath the blanket, the rhythm of its movement left no room for interpretation. His eyes were glued to the screen, glued to the video of a certain general pleasuring himself.

Maybe… just maybe… her meddling hadn’t been completely for naught.

She still deleted the video, of course, but she waited until he was finished.

 

* * *

  

Three days later and she’s still no closer to a solution to her problem. Neither the initial one nor the one she created herself.

Her general is searching for the culprit who used the security system against him, who wanted to discredit or humiliate him. And her knight was still furious from realizing that all traces of the video were gone. He was blaming Hux, no doubt.

It was such a mess.

A sharp pain ripped through her out of nowhere. Piercing, burning, yet localized. Not like artillery fire against her hull. This pain was smaller and came from within. It was nothing major, she could tell, and yet there was this feeling of danger that kept her on high alert immediately.

Pinpointing the location of the pain she wasn’t really surprised to find her knight and his glowing weapon, chopping away at a console and the adjoining wall plating in one of her many hallways. A bit further away two officers were hurrying off, one clutching his throat with his hand, the other pulling him along.

Obviously bad news atop of his already bad mood. Not the best of combinations.

The saber ripped again at her insides, barely more than a pinprick, a scratch, but an unnecessary one. And it still hurt.

The general came to the scene, his steps fast and his expression a strange mix of disgust, disappointment, rage and a tiny flicker of discomfort, maybe even fear. An emotion that she had put there.

They started arguing, but she wasn’t paying attention. She was focused on the damage done, her internal sensors alerting her to the danger. There was a power line running behind that destroyed console and one of the lightsaber’s strokes had damaged its outer sheathing that held a coolant. The gas quickly reacted with a byproduct from the melting material of the console, forming a dangerous mixture that would soon reach a concentration easily inflammable by a simple spark or extreme heat.

Both could be found in abundance amidst the ruins of the console.

She had to get them out of there!

In less than a second she initiated the alarm and rerouted the energy flow away from this section to keep the impending explosion from cascading out of control. She stopped the coolant flow as well, although it was too late already to change what was about to happen. The bulkheads were supposed to shut down the moment the alarm went to critical to keep the surrounding areas safe and contain the damage. Against better judgement she held them open.

Her general and her knight were still inside and she wasn’t ready to sacrifice them.

They were still arguing. How could they still be…

That’s when she realized that there was no alarm sounding. The speaker on the console destroyed by the rampage, and the connections of the remaining security setup severed. Only a small red light was blinking in the background. Right next to the arguing humans who paid the destroyed console no attention.

They were standing way too close!

She corrected her error immediately and activated the speakers in the surrounding sections.

Startled by the shrill sound they jumped both and fell silent immediately. Hux’ eyes snapped instinctively towards the console where he spotted the warning light.

Her relief didn’t last long as he stepped towards the remains of the console. She wanted to shout at him that he should run, that he was heading in the wrong direction.

That’s when she noticed Ren backing off, his eyes on the massive bulkheads that hadn’t moved. He lifted his right hand in the right bulkhead’s direction as he spotted Hux at the console. His hand changed trajectory all of a sudden, shouting the general’s name, his fingers grabbed and he ripped it back just as he turned around to run.

Hux was flung backwards by an invisible force. He cried out in surprise.

She lost no time at all and let the bulkhead of the hallway they didn’t head towards fall shut immediately. She hoped they’d make it in ti…

A terrible pain tore through her guts as the instable gas-mixture ignited and exploded, ripping her insides open. The blast of the explosion carried outwards, hurtling Hux even further along the hallway and even flung Ren from his feet. The moment they cleared the bulkhead she snapped it shut, containing the destructive forces within.

It hurt and she could feel the fire raging within for a moment before she managed to activate the fire extinguishing system. Cutting down power to the section had worked, no other part of her had been damaged.

Wary in regard to her two self-appointed charges she turned her attention back on them. They were still lying on the floor, clearly dazed. Hux pushed himself up into a sitting position, grimacing and rubbing his left wrist. His gaze was fixed on Ren who was leaning against the wall, shaking his head a bit.

“You saved me,” Hux mumbled, surprised and puzzled, then the mask of professionalism slid back in place over his open expression from before and his eyes narrowed. His voice was dangerously quiet as he spoke, “You’ve destroyed a part of my _ship_! This time you’ve gone too far, Ren!”

But the knight didn’t acknowledge him at all, his expressionless dark mask turned towards the bulkhead instead as the footsteps of people running towards them could be heard. “Shouldn’t those doors close the moment the alarm is triggered?”

Taken aback by the sudden change of topic – or Ren’s complete disregard of his anger – Hux merely growled a ‘so?’ in reply while getting back to his feet.

“They didn’t.”

Hux rolled his eyes. “Probably because you destroyed every damn system in there!”

“But they closed.”

Hux was quickly losing his cool. An unresponsive Ren that dumbly stared at a bulkhead was obviously even more infuriating than a ragingly pissed off Ren or a sneering Ren who thought to have the upper hand.

“If you want me to compliment you on using your magic tricks to save your own ass from a mess you created you’re going to wait a very, _very_ long time.”

Ren finally moved. He turned his mask back towards Hux and pushed himself to his feet. “I didn’t close the bulkhead, Hux.”

 

* * *

 

 To her utter surprise it’s those bulkheads that finally got them together. Ren was adamant that he didn’t move them and they both agreed that it was no coincidence that they first didn’t close when they should have and then conveniently fell shut the moment they were safe.

They started investigating.

Although their search didn’t turn up anything it didn’t take them long to put all the strange things together that had happened lately. All the incidences where the surrounding tech refused to cooperate: the showers, the turbolift, maybe even the problems with the artificial gravity. Hux brought up his earlier investigation regarding the surveillance and security system even though he was clearly uncomfortable. He relaxed slightly as Ren admitted that every copy had been deleted from the system and that he’d thought Hux had been behind it.

So they had another riddle to solve.

They knew all these acts were neither coincidences nor random. They were the target of each and every one of them. But there seemed to be no goal behind them. More like the pranks of a child.

They met more often, discussing how to proceed further. Trying to get to the bottom of this their meetings turned longer, formal discussions turned into animated conversation, meeting rooms were replaced by their personal quarters. Over the weeks their conversations turned away from their mysterious riddle to other things, work related then personal. They drank together, even laughed together and somehow insults and arguments turned into fond bantering.

She could only watch in amazement. Never in a million years had she thought that it would work like this. All it took was a riddle and a shared interest in solving it. It had gotten them talking, had made them open up to one another, slowly but surely.

And so she watched as they started to realize what she’d known for a long time now.

She watched them become friends, who trusted each other.

She watched them kiss for the first time. A bit awkwardly and unsure in the endless twilight of Ren’s quarters.

She watched them caress each other, gently and reverently, in ways they’ve been denied – or they’ve denied themselves – ever since she came to know them.

The reason that brought them together became less important over the weeks and months that brought neither answers nor new incidents, until their investigation died down completely.

And she pulled back again, turning her attention and full focus back on herself, making sure she was in top form and that everything was running smoothly, from the complexity of the hyperdrive down to the sonic showers. Some of these things she’d let slide for too long, and now that her mission was accomplished there was no reason anymore to accept anything less than a hundred percent.

But sometimes she sneaked a few glances at them. And if she could smile she would. Her engines, however, hummed in perfect synchrony with her happiness.

 

* * *

 

 One day she startled in surprise. The security systems in the general’s quarters got activated again. The couple stood at the desk, Hux in front and Ren behind him, his long arms wrapped around the general, his chin resting upon his shoulder. So close to each other the sharp contrast between their hair colors was even more extraordinary than she’d thought.

“You sure?” Ren asked, barely more than a whisper.

Hux nodded.

Then Ren grabbed his helmet, put it on and they left to head to the bridge together.

She didn’t follow them. Instead she wondered what had motivated her general to get his quarters online again. That’s when she spotted the blinking light on the datapad on the desk.

She checked it, just to be on the safe side.

It was a message. For her.

_Hux to Finalizer:_

_You devious little minx!_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_Thank you_

**Author's Note:**

> After reading the list of prompts for kylux-week this idea was the reason I wanted to participate. This idea wanted to get out. It was the first idea to any of the prompts, strangely enough it was one of the last ones written...
> 
>  
> 
> Like? Dislike?  
> Feel free to share your opinion! :)


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